The Quest for GOD

The Quest for GOD

Everyone wonders at some point of life does GOD really exist?

Right from the days when I was a kid I always used to wonder even a thief prays for god. God let this robbery go smooth; I don’t know how many people out there right now making evil wishes. Somehow I could never convince myself that god exists but whenever I hit a rough phase in life and you needed someone beyond your family and friends to share this. It was so easy to walk to a temple and just the silence would make me feel better.

Whenever I think of god I would immediately ask myself question, so does this mean you believe in God? I wouldn’t have an answer for that. 

I have not prayed much. I will come to reason why later but whenever I did I would start off “if you exist” and for some reason I have never wished something for myself. I just couldn’t because if I do I had to agree that God exist. I would end up praying for my family or a generic pray.

In my place people do pray for god almost every day, make donations in name of god, make sacrifices. I would come across people doing this and I found it really hard to put a sense to all the things they do. I have seen selfish, corrupt and bad people do this. How can you go and pray when you are not truthful to yourself.  How can you betray, cheat be selfish and expect God to be on your side. 

GOD IS GREAT. What a commodity he has been, every step of our life, everyone uses him so effectively. God I am sorry I will never do this again. God I screwed it up please forgive me. It goes on and on.

I am sorry God please forgive me I will never do this again. Everyone would have said this, in fact over the time of our life it becomes a routine. Bad habits are not easy to get away are they, we will do it again and again and we do with such ease we no more find it wrong.  If all hell breaks down you can always go to God and say sorry and stress your promise more than earlier and walk away guilt free. I have seen this all my life and I will continue to see.  The ease with which people pass on the accountability of the mistake they have done and walk guilt free just amazes me.

Well it was different for me, whenever I pray/wish/confess I had to answer myself one question. So do you believe in GOD? This question always put a check on my access to God. I was answerable to myself and there was no easy way to get away from the guilt of doing wrong, being unfair and all the mistakes. I had look at myself and feel shameless for my deeds and nowhere else to go. The good thing was I was accountable for what I did. 

I would wonder what if there was no concept of God. What would have happened, it’s scary, real scary. There would be no faith, no one would be afraid of wrong doing and the world would easily come to an end. It is this word GOD which is holding us together.  The fear of someone watching us is keeping us on track. I ask myself again so do you believe in God?

I have found comfort in toughest of times using the word God. I am not going argue on God is there are not. I believe being truthful to yourself is the toughest thing you can do, you can lie to anyone, even just confess by saying your side of story the way you want. Just look at the mirror and try lie to yourself I bet you can’t. So be truthful to yourself and GOD will be always there with you. 

I am no saint you don’t have to be one, we make mistakes we all do and we like it once in a while. Just let’s be accountable for our acts and we can make up for the mistakes with some kindness.

Peace of mind.

Krishna